One journey ends...

... And another begins. A journey of loss. I never thought I would have to experience this but here I am. After hearing that strong, steady heartbeat at 8 weeks along, I really thought we were in the clear. This baby was not meant to be.

Today Jason and I went to the doctor for a routine appointment. After discussing some basic things she tried to find the heartbeat with the doppler. After trying for what felt like forever, but was actually probably 10 minutes she made the decision to send me to ultrasound for a quick look. She went ahead with my exam and said everything looked and felt great. So on down to ultrasound I went.

I knew as soon as that ultrasound wand touched my stomach that something was wrong. The baby looked tiny. Nearly the same size as it had at my other ultrasound. The baby only measured around 9 weeks. There was no heartbeat.

Now we have to make the decision about how to proceed with things.

Where do we go from here?

Bump-ish

Here is it. My first official bump-ish picture. Today I am 11 weeks 4 days and I wore my first maternity shirt. It was completely unnecessary, but I can't pass up wearing a new shirt!

The last few days I honestly haven't been feeling very pregnant. My bloat has subsided and my morning sickness has worn off. I know I am coming up on the end of the first trimester, but all this has been accompanied by some light spotting. Luckily I have a Dr. appointment coming up on Tuesday, and I am sure they will tell me everything is fine!

We have a due date!

February 11th is the big day!

I had an appointment with the nurse in my OB's office today. She is a sweet woman who remembered me from my crazy story of finding out I was pregnant at the doctor's office. The appointment was kind of silly aside from nailing down a due date. Just answered a lot of questions about medical history. I have to come back in a little over a week for a complete exam by the OB. Joy, joy. After that I will get to see her at her other office in Huntington which is way more convenient for Jason and I.

I have been reading The Mayo Clinic Guide to Pregnancy. It is so straight forward. I am thinking about skipping ahead to the actual birthing chapter. That is where I need the most help, I think. Or the post-partum chapter. Eeek!

10 Weeks

I haven't had much to update in the last few days. I had to reschedule my first prenatal appointment with the nurse due to a conflict at work. Now it is tomorrow afternoon.

I still have yet to take any bump (or pre-bump at this point) pictures. I tried to use my tripod to take a few pictures inspired by Pinterest. That didn't work out very well. My lens and bedroom just weren't working right. Since today is HDBD (hump day bump day) I should go set up my tripod again and try to take a few more.

Until I have something more exciting to share here is a survey many pregnant bloggers use.

How far along? 10 Weeks

Total weight gain: I am actually down 10 lbs.

Maternity clothes? None yet!

Stretch marks? Not yet and hopefully none at all!

Sleep: I am sleeping well, but like a rock. I have to go to bed by 10 or I am a bear the next day.

Best moment this week: Nothing too exciting has happened.

Miss Anything? I have never been a big drinker at all, but I could totally go for a margarita now!

Movement: Too early.

Food cravings: Aside from a Bloomin' Onion, nothing particularly. I am still experiencing heavy food aversions.

Anything making you queasy or sick: I feel queasy 24/7 especially when I think about food.

Gender: We don't know yet!

Labor Signs: None. 

Symptoms: Nausea, fatigue, constipation, bloating.

 Belly Button in or out? In.

Wedding rings on or off? Still on.

Happy or Moody most of the time: Pretty moody! Just ask Jason.

Looking forward to: Buying nursery furniture and cleaning out our spare rooms!

This is really happening.

It has been nearly two weeks since Jason and I got the news that will change our lives forever. We are going to be parents!

 I found out I am pregnant in a very unconventional way. And that is where this crazy ride begins. After having long cycles and not having a period since March 24th, I finally got to a new doctor that was willing to prescribe me Provera to help move things along. After discussing a few more things, I told the doctor about my lower abdominal cramping and extremely sore breasts. She gave me a funny look and sent me to the bathroom to take a pregnancy test. She said she "just had a feeling about me". The nurse took my test back to her cubical to wait the results while I made a follow up appointment with the receptionist. A few minutes passed and the nurse came around the corner holding the test. She had this happy/excited look on her face. And the best words possible came out of her mouth, "You are pregnant!" Of course I immediately burst into tears right there. Instead of Provera my prescription was changed to prenatal vitamins. The doctor came back out and set me up with blood work the following day to check my numbers. And and ultrasound was scheduled for the next week for dating.

The blood work showed me to be 5 to 6 weeks along. But, the ultrasound showed a little one about 8 weeks along. That means I am due around mid February! I feel so behind because we didn't find out until a bit later than most, but I know I have 32 weeks to prepare my home and life to bring my precious baby home!