I knew that getting pregnant after a loss would be terrifying. I just didn't realize how scary, stressful, and heartbreaking it would be. Jason or I neither one can seem to let go and actually be excited. I try to remind myself that this is a new pregnancy and a new day. Many times I think about how far along I should be with the baby we lost. At this point we would know the sex of the baby. It would be time for baby showers and finishing the nursery.
Earlier this week I had a few bad days. I realized that when I made my appointment for next week that the receptionist didn't say anything about an ultrasound. I called the office and sure enough, I wasn't put down for an u/s, just an OB take-in appointment. She also said that they probably won't be able to get me into u/s that day, but maybe the next week. That just broke my heart. At the appointment next Friday I will be 8 weeks 3 days, the approximate day our baby quit growing last time. After I got off the phone I had a little meltdown. Then of course I talked myself into thinking something was wrong now.
We decided to go ahead and tell our parents that we are expecting again. It took a lot of convincing, but I knew that if something were to happen I would want their support. Here is to hoping the next week flies by and I have a great first appointment, u/s or not!
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