Am I always going to hate these two days of the week with the burning fire of a thousand suns? It sure feels like it. I found out I was pregnant on a Tuesday. I found out I was no longer pregnant on a Tuesday. I had my D&C on a Thursday. Two weeks ago today to be exact. Last Thursday and today both I have spent the whole day thinking about what I was doing this time on Thursday August 2nd. Driving to Huntington, dealing with a crappy phlebotomist, going over medical history, having a meltdown, wheeling to surgery, driving home. I just replay it all.
Honestly though, I haven't cried in a few days. I am feeling much better about things overall. I know there is a reason this miscarriage happened, and I also realize I will never know that reason. Tomorrow I go to my post-op appointment. We will discuss when Jason and I can try again though I feel like we will wait a little while.
Something else, I am so glad I started this blog when I did. Yes, it is hard to go back and read my original posts, but if I hadn't done them I wouldn't remember how I was feeling at those moments. They were so full of joy and hope for the future. I hope I can feel that way again someday.
You will feel that way someday, honey. It will be more cautious, but you'll feel that joyfulness again. You're always in my thoughts, Kales.
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